The Second Trimester

Read about my first trimester here and why we’re choosing a home birth here!

Most people talk about how quickly pregnancy flies by. “Oh, I can’t believe we’re heading into the third trimester!” But for me, the most impatient person in the world, this is crawling by. I know I should be savoring this, but I am so ready to meet our little girl!

Feeling // Thankfully, the second trimester has been physically uneventful. My morning sickness bit the dust around 13 weeks. I did start getting migraines every few days, but seeing a chiropractor knocked those out in a few weeks. I did have more energy (although not the “surge” of energy they talk about!), and have loved seeing my belly grow! However, I also started having some killer SI joint pain (low back) around 16 weeks, and it’s still going strong. Sometimes it’s immobilizing, and makes it hard to be as active as I would have wished. And pubic bone pain has made a terrible bedfellow (who knew pubic bone pain was a thing?!).

I finally felt sweet babe kicking right at 20 weeks. It feels like a heart palpitation in your belly, or like big, underwater bubbles. Now that she’s bigger and stronger, they’re definitely more defined punches and kicks! Matt was able to feel her around 24 weeks, and he loves it—although sometimes I think Little Bird thinks she’s playing hide and seek with her daddy and will immediately stop kicking once his hand is on my belly!

Emotionally, the second trimester was pretty rough. For reasons that I probably won’t be sharing, we had a time where we thought we weren’t going to be able to deliver at home, and would be forced into seeing an OB and delivering at a hospital. To most that’s nbd, but to us it was devastating news. We still have some road bumps to cover before we’ll know 100% that we’re able to deliver at home, but we’re at about 90% now, which is reassuring. Obviously we’re being prayerful about this, and I’d love prayers for a continued ability to give this whole thing up to the Lord. We could still have a home birth, but something happen where we have to transfer to a hospital during labor, and I need to be emotionally prepared for that. Letting go of the control part of birth has been really, really hard for me, but I’m thankful that we worship a God who I love and trust and who will use all things for His glory.

Appointments // Weekly chiropractor appointments (with a Webster technique certified chiro), biweekly acupuncture appointments, and appointments with our midwives every four weeks. We did the gestational diabetes test (passed!), and the 28-week labs and everything came back great. I will have an injection of Rhogam at 28 weeks since my blood type is O-, meaning I am Rh-negative (Google it).

Bodywork // In addition to the Webster technique and regular adjustments by my chiropractor, I’m trying to do the following things as often as possible (goal: daily; actual: weekly) to help my pelvis stay balanced and my ligaments and cervix stay open and not twisted with the goal of helping baby girl get head down and in the anterior position:
+ Walking
+ Psoas Release (Activity #5 on Spinning Babies)
+ Pelvic tilts (AKA cat/cow with the focus on the cat)
+ Child’s pose
+ Deep squats (heels on the floor)
+ Sitting less on the couch and more sitting on the ball or in a “tailor sit” on the ground

Craving // Chocolate! Sugar! Fruit! And Starbucks’ Matcha Green Tea Lattes.

Hating // Slowly getting back into (decaf) coffee. Still don’t love eggs.

Other thoughts on the second trimester // This might be unpopular, but it’s something that has been on my mind. When we have shared our home birth hiccup, and that we’re worried about being forced to deliver at a hospital, soooooo many people have said “well the only thing that matters is a healthy baby!” And man, that’s just not the right thing to say (even though I know they mean well).

Sure, a healthy baby is of utmost importance. That’s a duh, you know? No one gets pregnant and is like, “I don’t really care if the baby is healthy!” So it’s a given. But that’s not the only thing that is important, and it’s this kind of language that tends to invalidate suffering and complicate mourning. I, as a mother and a woman and a human being, have every right to have desires and wishes and needs that surround my birth experience. I have certain things that may even be traumatizing to me if they do/don’t happen. So when those wants/needs aren’t met, it can lead to suffering on my part, which then requires mourning if I want to be able to move on in a healthy way. But when everyone tells you that the only thing that matters is a healthy baby, you start to think that there’s something wrong with you, and that you should just “get over” the loss of these hopes and dreams that you had taken away from you.

Obviously I don’t think you should risk the health of your baby for these wants/needs. That’s part of the sacrifice a mother makes. But that’s not the situation I’m talking about here. I really just wish people could learn to sit with another’s pain and say, “Man, that really just sucks. I’m hurting for you and I wish I could change it.” Having those types of conversation helps a person to grieve appropriately and validates their pain. So let’s learn how to sit with that and want a healthy baby.

Why We’re Choosing Home Birth

Note: All birth is beautiful. Period. End of story. I cry at any birth story I read, regardless of where it happened, how it happened, and whether or not I’d choose it for myself. Sharing about home birth isn’t to say that it’s better than any other type of birth; it’s simply the choice we’ve made. The information below might sound defensive, or mightier-than-thou, but it’s simply sharing information from our perspective because there’s so much misinformation out there about your options. These are just the things that are important to us. Education is my biggest thing, and I want women to feel empowered to know what their options are and then to choose–even if that’s different than what I choose. I love what Nancy Bardacke, CNM says in her book Mindful Birthing: “From a mindfulness perspective, every birth is ‘natural.’ It’s natural for a baby to grow inside its mother’s body, it’s natural for a baby to be born, and it’s natural for people to want to help with the process. That being said, if her intention is to birth with minimal to no medical interventions, she will definitely be learning skills for that–as well as skills for being in a hospital environment where people might want to help a little too much.”

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I want to start this by saying that home birth isn’t for everyone, for a multitude of reasons (both physical and emotional). However, for low-risk pregnancies, midwife-attended home births have been shown to be as safe, if not safer, than hospital births.

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Home birth is still such a novel, out of the box idea for most Americans, and many people have terribly inaccurate perceptions of what a home birth is like. In 2012, only 1.36% of US births occurred outside a hospital, yet the US has one of the highest infant mortality rates of all developed nations. According to the Midwives’ Alliance of North America, in the five nations with the world’s lowest infant mortality and lowest rates of technological intervention, midwives attend seventy percent of all births without a physician in the birth room. Continue reading

The First Trimester

Matt and I were celebrating our one year anniversary when I woke up feeling…off. I had had a low backache a few days before, and that morning I woke up with a wave of nausea–the kind where you feel it in the back of your neck and feel like you might pass out. It passed as quickly as it came, but when Matt left for work I decided to take a pregnancy test.

We had been trying to get pregnant for months. And months. And months. I was so used to a negative pregnancy test, I just thought I was going through the motions (again). It was also the day before my missed period, so I knew I might be testing too soon. And, to top it off, I’d been charting my temps and thought they weren’t high enough. I had already given up on this cycle.

My friend Katie had recommended these ovulation predictor strips that came with pregnancy tests. These are waaaaay cheaper than the kind you normally buy at the drug store, so they were great for my monthly habit of peeing on a stick.

I waited the two minutes and came back in to check. SUPER. FAINT. LINE.

Cue test #2.

SUPER. FAINT. LINE.

Cue trip to the drug store, where I bought two more pregnancy tests that I thought might be more accurate. I knew that a line is a line is a line but I needed another brand to tell me that! So after another test: TWO. PINK. LINES. Clear as day.

But, of course, that’s never enough, so I took the digital test. Within a minute, it read: YES+

I was shocked. Genuinely. After you see what feels like a million negative pregnancy tests, you’re convinced you’ll literally never see a positive one. But there it was.

Matt came home for lunch and I was able to give him a “gift” for our anniversary: the positive tests. We were both ecstatic and overjoyed, and Matt said, “It’s a Christmas miracle!”

That was December 12th, and to say that I’ve enjoyed the first trimester would be…insane. Here’s our first trimester update:

Feeling: The first few weeks my pride got a hold of me. We found out just before week 4, and I was feeling great. I just knew I’d have an easy pregnancy.

WRONG.

Weeks 6-12 were full of nausea; all day, every day. There was just no relief. Weeks 8-10ish were also full of vomiting that never brought any relief.

I was also wildly exhausted, and sleeping a lot. To those of you who have to go to work every day feeling like this, I applaud you. #badassery

Appointments: We got in with my OB’s office pretty quickly, but didn’t have our first “real” appointment until week 8 where they did the dating ultrasound. Seeing that flickering heartbeat was…surreal. I know a lot of people say that, but it was honestly still kind of shocking. I didn’t even cry, and I am a CRIER. Matt and I were just so happy to see Little Bird’s heart beating away at a rapid 178bpm.

We had another ultrasound at 12 weeks to check for Down Syndrome (negative), and this time Little Bird looked much more like a baby! As soon as the wand was on my belly, she started jumping and dancing. The heart beat was still strong and beautiful at 161bpm, and we were able to see baby’s arms in little fists by the head and how she was laying.

I had recently read a study about how ultrasound techs were challenged to guess a baby’s sex between weeks 11-14, and how the techs were 98% accurate at 12 weeks! So we decided to have our tech take a guess.

She knew immediately what Little Bird was (girl), and was very confident! Later that week, our genetic screening blood test (also negative, thankfully!) confirmed the sex of the baby. (Side note: isn’t it crazy that they can tell the sex of the baby by drawing MY blood?!?) Knowing what Little Bird is has made this so much more real.

Finally, we made the decision to transfer care to Gainesville Midwives for the rest of our pregnancy and have a home birth since we’re low risk and I don’t love hospitals. My dear friend Kerri is a midwife, and we’re so excited to have her caring for us and Little Bird! We’re prayerful for a smooth, uneventful pregnancy and birth so that we can do this in the peace of our home.

Craving: Wendy’s spicy chicken sandwich // Sonny’s BBQ // crab legs (I put away 3lbs of these) // fruit // french fries // McDonalds (can’t you tell I ate really healthy in the first trimester?!) // phô // anything vinegar-y

Hating: Coffee! I can’t stand it. // eggs

Other thoughts on the first trimester:

  • My friend Madison keeps telling me, “pregnancy is NOT for the faint of heart.” And she couldn’t be more right. The worry is insane. The first trimester was primarily filled with worrying about miscarriage and whether or not the baby was okay. Now that we’ve moved into the second trimester, the worry has simply shifted to hoping that baby doesn’t have any diseases or growth issues. I know worrying is a new constant since I’m a mother now, so I’m trying to settle into that and lean onto my Heavenly Father who loves this sweet baby even more than we do!
  • Creating a registry is overwhelming.
  • Natural birth books are wildly outdated. Someone write a new one!
  • Not 100% if we will share baby’s name. The name is something so personal and I love the thought of announcing along with the baby’s birth. Seems so regal. (I know we’ll miss out on monogrammed gifts, but I’m so particular about monograms anyway that might be a good thing!)
  • I’ll share more about why we’re choosing the home birth route and what that looks like. It’s definitely not for everyone, but it’s so important to know that you have options in birth!