One day I was in Walmart with my nephew Donavan. He was maybe 2 1/2, 3 years old at the time and had to go potty. So I whisked him away to the Ladies’ Room. In this magical place there was a young woman, on the phone, talking relatively loudly. I scooted Donavan inside, trying to get him into a stall, but he had other plans.
“SHUT YOUR FREAKING PIE HOLE!” he screamed. It was one of those moments where I should have scolded him, spanked him (before you comment, yes I am the devil and spank children #sosueme), reprimanded him, but instead I couldn’t stop hysterically laughing, which inspired him to scream it again to the lady once we were in the confines of the stall. #winning
It’s one of my favorite stories to tell about Donavan, but now I find myself wanting to tell the Internet (blogging) world to Shut Your (Their, because you’re nice) Freaking Pie Hole.
I read some really fun blogs written by some really fun, talented women. They’re doing MUCH bigger things than I am and are really making a difference in the world being moms and missionaries and mavens and all. I really do get lost in their words. So much so that I find myself in the comments sections of their posts.
Oops. Shouldn’t have ventured there.
You guys, there are some really mean people out there. People that need to learn to shut their freaking pie hole. And that’s what this post is about: learning to be nice.
One of the bloggers was totally ripped a new one for using the word “retarded” (not in a vulgar way, it was referring to clothes) and later for calling a fictional woman a “crack whore” (she was referring to how Jesus loves crack whores, btw, and if I were her I would’ve never blogged again after reading what some people said to her). Another blogger was bullied for being a feminist and told to take her politics “elsewhere” (um, it’s the Internet, lady…this IS elsewhere).
It made my heart hurt for these ladies. If you have ever shared anything you’ve written, you know what a daunting and vulnerable task that is. These women are sharing their hearts, their words, their craft to the entire world, and that’s a scary thing to do. I guess some would say these nasty comments just come with the territory…
But not I! These people need a spanking (again, I’m evil). They’re so mean and nasty, and I wish I were more like Jesus and could love the heck out of them. But I’m struggling. It takes everything in me not to respond to each of them, people I’ve never met, and tell them that they’re not very nice. But I don’t because they scare me and they might tell me I’m the devil and that I should never see the light of day.
It’s this kind of stuff that makes me understand cyber bullying. So if you find yourself getting ready to leave a comment on a blog (or anything, really), I’ve made a list of questions to ask yourself before doing so:
1. Is what I’m about to say mean? (If the answer is yes, DO NOT post)
2. Would I appreciate someone saying these things to me? (If the answer is no, DO NOT post)
3. Would I appreciate someone saying these things to my child? (If the answer is no, DO NOT post)
4. Am I following the golden rule? (If the answer is no, DO NOT post)
5. Is what I have to say constructive, nice, encouraging, and kind? (If yes, POST AWAY!)
Please remember that these people are writers. They’re mommies, they’re sisters, they’re friends, they’re vulnerable, they’re fragile, and most importantly, remember that Jesus loves them just as much as He does you. When they read mean words that people write about what they have to say, it hurts their hearts, even if they have 50 bagillion followers and 49.999 bagillion nice comments. They chose to share their words with their followers (or just to share their words). No one asked you to read what they wrote, and no one asked you to agree with it. If you don’t like what they write, simply leave the blog and find one you do like.
Sweet Jesus, help me to check and double check my words and actions before they leave my mouth. Help me to love others (even mean, spiteful blog-commenters) as You love them. Amen.
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